i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
