Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
