my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
