are you still at the devil's house?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize