I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Green mimosas i think yes
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
