She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....