Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
