literally had 100 drinks last night.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
