HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
