He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
