You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
