It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize