definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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