Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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