That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
