shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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