I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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