Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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