Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
