so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
vagina is talking i cant
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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