I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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