Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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