ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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