She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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