he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Terrible idea I love it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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