remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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