I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize