Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
