after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
