I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
