I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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