bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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