ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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