i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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