my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
