right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
