Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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