I wannas sexs uuuuu
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
