turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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