are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
