If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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