So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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