Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
