I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
