Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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