That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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