Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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