Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
