i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dicks are not precious.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
do nipples grow back?
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