were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
