i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
