I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
