ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
