We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
