so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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