you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
