My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
