afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
