i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
