If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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