I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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