How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
