I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
