I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
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